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Archive for August, 2011

Nan: What’s with your little dairy maid and her lightning tricks?

Blargy face to the rescue!

OK, this pre-credits episode opener was CRAZY, amiright? So we open right up with Sookie screaming in her craziest face, yelling “NO MORE!” and shooting lightning bolts at Eric’s sexy little head. And she breaks the spells!

And Eric TOTALLY REMEMBERS EVERYTHING. And not just his old memories, but all the bare ass antics  with Sookie, too. Actually, among the flashback  memory moments: Viking family dinner, becoming a vamp by Godric, meeting Sookie for the first time, looking hot in a v-neck tee, and a few related to Russell and killing Talbot. Hmm…. wonder if that means anything, or has to do with Denis O’Hare confirmed for Season 5, does it? 🙂

And so Eric is immediately sexier.

Whoa, I know kung fu.

Back at King Bill’s not-so-humble abode, King Bill is laying the smack down on Nan and her PR freak outs. And meanwhile, Eric is all like… nothing changes, we can still totally bone, it’s fine. And Sookie fills him in on how she loves both these sexy vampires and doesn’t know what to do.

 
I sure hope they spend a wee bit more time on Eric and Sookie having to work this all out now that things have SRSLY changed. I know there’s a war and shit to fight, but come on! I mean, Sookie should have a slightly better reaction to the three amazing things Eric immediately said to her: 1) I remember everything, 2) The other Eric is still here, and 3) I love you.

Umm, if you don't want him, can I haz him?

 And while the old Eric isn’t back completely unscathed, he’s definitely got his snark back. But it doesn’t appear to be good enough for our dear Pam. Hey, PAM’S BACK!

Aww poor Pam. She wants her old, ruthless Eric back. Me too, sorta. BTW, why does Pam look like she’s had work done? I wonder if this is a make-up trick because of her “rotting” treatments. Or Kristen Bauer had very unnecessary plastic surgery between episodes? And why can’t Sookie just shoot lightning bolts at  her too? So confused.

Bill decides enough is enough and he is going to take the Marnie/Antonia bitch down. And if Tara dies in the process, then so be it. And all he says to Sookie is to stay out of it. Right, of course she will.

Separate from the vamp/witch plot this week is poor Tommy.  May he rest in peace. Even though I’m glad his storyline is dead, this was a pretty sad scene. Still not sure what Tommy was trying to accomplish here, maybe just suicide?

Sam: Marcus is a dead fucking wolf.

Stop! Or my wolf will shoot!

Anyone else still surprised that somehow Alcide and Sam have never met? If True Blood doesn’t work out, maybe they could get a buddy cop sitcom  or something together. One thing that struck me about the scenes where Sam and Alcide were out to avenge Tommy’s death: Why is Alcide suddenly fine with ganging up on people?

Anyway, it’s also pretty clear that Debbie is WAY off the wagon and totally going to bone Marcus. Which is really dumb because Alcide is far hotter and even more so now that I know he doesn’t want kids. Again, if you don’t want him, pass him right along, my friend.

Cut to the MOON GODDESS EMPORIUM and the idiot witch coven is basically still being idiots, with the exception of Holly and Tara. Holly’s really stepping it up. And while I still hold firm that Tara could die this season and it would be ok, I loved her “Yea I got some rage” line.

So like I am sure all the rest of you, I thought it was Marnie who was having a crisis of her conscience. Nopes. Marnie has gone batshit crazy and blood thirsty. And after forcing herself out of Marnie’s body, Antonia gives a whole speech about how she doesn’t want to kill innocents and the world has changed so much. But fairly quickly, she seems to lose her principles pretty damned quickly and back to sharing bodies she goes.

Sookie and Jason enlist Lafayette and Jesus to help rescue Tara before the emporium gets light up like a Christmas tree. Jesus uses his crazy demon powers to impress Marnie/Antonia, only to find out that Marnie has lost her damn mind.

Holly and Tara are able to temporarily break the protection spell to run out of the emporium, as Lafayette and Sookie run to save them. Jason hesitated, which ended up being the right choice. Marnie/Antonia casts a spell and they all disappear!

At first I was like, where did Marnie take them? But it’s just inside. Umm, ok show.

But the show quickly won be back with the leather jacket express and a badass Talking Heads cover. ONLY TWO EPISODES LEFT!!

Burning down the house!

PS, as opposed to my very lo-tech screencaps, I took most of this week’s visuals from Lady Manson galleries, which basically rocks.

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Bill: Werewolf, I’m gonna need  you to shut the fuck up.

Hot. But next time I think we deserve HOTTER.

I know I have said this before, but I will say it again… I am definitely liking this late season Bill more and more. So Sookie takes a cap in her belly, and Alcide is running to the house to get her to safety. Somehow Bill escapes his silver issues, and quickly snatches her up. At first she seems like she is too far gone to drink his blood, but of course, she does and she’s fine.

Alcide leaves in a huff because all Sookie cares about is where Eric might be, and sneaks back into his bed with Debbie. Cue Unecessary but completely acceptable Alcide butt shot. And Debbie, who is hilariously watching an episode of Cheaters, is glowy-wolf-eyes PISSED.
 

MOAR Nan please!

Cut to a scene between lovesick Jessica and Nan Flanagan that is completely priceless.

 
Nan: There have been times, I’ll admit, that I thought maybe I should put my career on hold and become a maker. But these last few hours with you have erased those thoughts FOREVER.
 
Now that Sookie has had both Eric and Bill’s blood in a very short period of time, it is now time for the Eric-Sookie-Bill threesome dream that would probably be every girl’s fantasy. Well, this girl’s fantasy, anyway. But couldn’t Alan Ball do BETTER? I mean, he who gave us THIS last season:

Welcome back polished hair and deep-V wearing Eric. How we've missed you so.

Perhaps he could have come up with a WAY hotter dream with more sexy sex. But whatever. In the end, it was pretty cool to see Sookie (even if it was subconciously) admit it should be ok to be in love with two men, and decide that those vamps should be HERS, rather than the other way around. BTW – DAMN Anna Paquin. Way to hit the gym HARD.Can I also just say, that Sookie’s dream Eric is back to his old self? And looking mighty FINE too.

On to the other spirit possession story line! This definitely was Jesus’ best episode. And now I am FINALLY beginning to see where TB was trying to go with this whole Jesus is a brujo who can expell spirits and Lafayette is a medium. Something tells me these two are going to have to go all Ghostbusters on Antonia/Marnie to set things right. And we finally know what’s up with the doll, and why it ended up in Hoyt’s house. Seems a bit roundabout, but I’m glad it wasn’t all for naught.”You got it, bitch.”

"You got it, bitch."

Best moment of Lafayette’s possession:  When Jesus describes his relationship as “boyfriend” and the old-timey French lady gets all homophobe for a second. Umm, bigger problems lady!

Poor Hoyt. Can we just talk about this guy for a second? First, his girlfriend breaks up with him. Then Lafayette shoots up his house while possessed by a wronged spirit lady. LOL Hoyt in response to Jason saying the door is like new: “Sure, if you ignore the frame, bullet holes, and general fucked-upness of everything.”

Back of the truck? Really?

But then Jason ultimately does what Jason does. And his newfound “doing the right thing” kick only lasted ONE episode. Whoops! I will say, given how Jessica has changed over this season, Jason makes a better match for her. Hoyt IS too good for her. But, I really hate to see Jason hurt Hoyt like this, and you KNOW he will find out.

Moving on, if I didn’t know Debbie was a relapsing, psycho addict, I would say I am definitely all for Team Debbie and Sookie. Hot powerful ladies getting shit done! But, Debbie’s motives are dubious at best, and we probably won’t really know what side of this fight she will end up on until the very end.

Meanwhile, Antonia/Marnie is tweaking. And all her witches, besides Roy, are starting to defect. So she locks them all in the Moon Goddess Emporium (still definitely the name of the store), and takes off with her new pet Eric and loyalist Roy.

And while I still firmly believe Tara is useless, I am glad she came around and helped Sookie, realizing this Antonia chick is wack.

Speaking of useless, enter Tommy. Not sure what he was hoping to accomplish with this little skinwalking stunt with Marcus. Did he hope to get killed? Eventually get Sam killed? Either way, now these weres know he isn’t Sam, and Alcide is once again to the rescue carrying out a bleeding victim.

Yum! Tolerance!

The episode concludes at the vampire “Tolerance” rally, which looks like it was designed by people from Beverly Hills 90210 or Saved by the Bell. Things seem to be going well, until of course, the entrails. Here’s hoping Eric’s blood bond and love for Sookie can overcome this witchy spell!

Other stuff!

  • Andy: You know damn well I am a white man.
  • Luna: We don’t say fat.
  • Where the F is PAM?!?

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“Because all of us vampires know each other?” – Bill

It’s official: I will love Alan Ball for the rest of my life. This show is of course ridiculous, but where it lacks in logic, it makes up in pure hot Eric and Sookie nakedness. Holy crap. So much ASkars ass in this episode I could hardly stand it. Oh to be the makeup lady who gets to powder those FINE cheeks. Is it safe to say next season we might see full frontal???

Wouldn't making out hurt your charred face?

But before all the great rear shots, this week’s episode starts where the last one left off, and as predicted by pretty much anyone, Jason saved Jessica’s life. The spell broke just at the right second, and then the two made out a little in the passion of the moment.

I do have to say, I think Jason’s character is heads and shoulders better this season than it has been any other season. I mean, just take the hilarious exchange between him and Andy (who, by the way, we all STILL don’t care about) after Andy looks longingly at a mess of dead vamp:

Jason: Andy! Seriously? You want to eat a pile of DEAD Vampire Buelah Carter… off the ground?! You are one sad sorry freak Bubba. Get a fucking grip!

[Andy babbles on and on about how he does V because he never meets expectations.]

Jason: Uh sorry man I stopped listening about halfway through.

Sweet dreams, indeed!

That’s some good stuff. AND… Jason, for the first time perhaps in his life, did the right thing when it came to women and sex. After Jessica had her dream about breaking up with Hoyt (and of course killing him and having sex with his best friend), she actually did break up with Hoyt. Hoyt said some shit that cut REAL deep… something tells me this couple isn’t like to get back together any time soon. But she runs, blood tears and all, right to Jason.

Jason reacts exactly how he is supposed to when Jessica runs to him about breaking up with Hoyt. He kicks her out and does push ups. Is that what I am supposed to be doing when I am sexually frustrated?? At least I might be in better shape…

Moving on to our werewolf pack backyard kegger, where Alcide and Debbie are enjoying the fire and some PDA. Anyone else seem to notice Pack master  Marcus doesn’t seem like THAT bad a dude at times, but then a total scary a-hole at others? Wonder what his deal is. In a related note: Sam will NEVER catch a damned break in this show.

Anyway, it’s clear this episode is setting up for some real shit to go down when Debbie loses her mind, which already has a foot out the door. Anyone else get the sense she kinda wants to bone Marcus?

Now back to Eric and Sookie… we have had basically THREE episodes centered around Sookie and Eric having as much sex as they possibly can. I have to say, while I am sure this is there to appease all the fans out there, it also sort of makes sense. If you were Sookie, and you knew there was an expiration date on your new Eric, wouldn’t you make the most of it too??

SIDE NOTE: I like that Eric has his hair more pushed back. And I wonder what he cursed out in Swedish when Sookie tore off the silver.

So Sookie takes the relationship to the next level and allows Eric to drink her blood. And in exchange, Eric offers her his. “We will be one,” Eric says. Was that a command or an explanation? Sookie didn’t seem to care either way. 

Perfectly placed fur blankets be DAMNED.

And neither did I. Even though this scene was gross on paper, it was oddly HAWT. And then cue the crazy blood high sex dream sequence. I am guessing they put this in here because both of them have pretty special blood, so putting it together would have interesting results. Although I will be honest, I was hoping more for an accurate depiction of the “shower sex scene” from the books…. but I will take what I can get! 

My only real complaint was the sort of cheesy dialogue between them about “all is possible.” Meh, I think the writers can do better than that.

Then after the trippy sex, Eric declares that he wants to run away with Sookie, and never get his memory back. Which honestly, sounds like a pretty amazing proposition. But this wouldn’t be much of a show if they just ran off together, would it?

Sookie: There’s no such thing as forever. 

In Witchville, Antonia is the mayor… and she’s pissed. She only killed ONE lousy vamp. It’s interesting how Tara seemingly was against the idea of genocide and killing all vampires, but after like two lines from Antonia she was totally ok with it. 

Bill and Antonia agree to meet and have some vamp-witch peace talks at midnight in the Bon Temps cemetery. Really? A meeting in the cemetery at midnight. How very Buffy.
 
Meanwhile, Lafayette gets possessed by some spirit who seems to think Arlene’s baby is her murdered baby. OHKAY. Let’s just see how this plays out. I worry it won’t pay off at all. 

Another storyline that needs some ending very soon is skinwalking Tommy. Although major props to the actress who plays Maxine Fortenberry. She was pretty hilars.
 
So Eric and Sookie go to Bill to declare their fealty and support in the potential war brewing between the supes. Sookie has a pretty great line here, where she says “Call me crazy, but I’m willing to die if it means keeping an entire group of people I know and love from being eradicated in the name of hate.”
 
One question: besides Bill, Eric and maybe Jessica… who else is in that group?? 
 
She did make me LOL after Eric bowed and said “My liege,” she stuttered, and then said, “My…. Bill.” Which made even Bill crack a little smile.

Now we are meeting in the cemetery, and nobody trusts anybody. At least Pam is looking much better (but apparently not smelling better).

Mm... throat.

I have a serious issue with why Eric would go all rogue and rip out that one chick’s throat. I don’t believe he would just do that, especially all softie like he is now. I want to believe that Antonia had some hand in that so she could say the witches didn’t draw first blood. 

Anyway, Antonia brings in her MAGIC FOG (ok really, now this is an episode of Buffy) and shit hits fan: 

  • Alcide not noticing that Debbie in wolf form is like four steps behind him.
  • WHY ISN’T TARA DEAD? Answer: “This is so fucking LAME!.” True story Pam.
  • Nice to see Sookie’s powers back. And then she gets shot. Oh, Sookie. 
  • Bill gets silvered before he can save her.
  • Eric ends up turning into Antonia’s lap dog before he can save her.  
  • Alcide scoops her up. 
  • Naked Debbie is sad.

The worst part is… we get like ZERO hints at what next week brings. I mean, we can be sure Sookie isn’t dead, but why wont/can’t she take Bill’s blood to heal? I think its time to call Dr. Ludwig!!!

Paging Dr. Ludwig!

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Tony Cenicola/The New York Times; Styling by Toby Cecchini

This is definitely my favorite summer drink of 2011. In fact, on such a stormy afternoon such as this, it might be just the thing to hit the spot!

This recipe and delicious photo comes straight from a fantastic article about the origins of this yummy drink that ran in the New York Times Magazine in August 2010.

Dark ’n’ Stormy

2 ounces dark rum
1/2 ounce fresh-squeezed lime juice
1/2 ounce simple syrup, or to taste
4-6 ounces fresh ginger beer.

Build the drink in a highball glass filled with ice, adjusting for sweetness and tartness. Depending on when you stop the fermentation of the ginger beer, it may be fully dry or still retain enough sweetness that additional simple syrup is unnecessary. Garnish with a wedge of lime. Serves 1.

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Pam: I… am not… A ZOMBIE!

Lady: That’s exactly what a zombie would say.

"What the hell are YOU looking at?" - Debbie's inner monologue

Like I said before, it’s just impossible to pick quotes from anyone BUT Pam to lead these recaps with. So anyway, since I am a TOTAL creep when it comes to this show, let’s start with the juicy, stuff, shall we?

Since I had to take last week off, I didn’t really get to creep out as hard as I probably would have liked. But I am sort of glad, because this week’s sex scenes between Eric and Sookie were WAY better! Way to really explore the space, you guys. BRAVO. And according to ASkars, the best is yet to come! But I am getting ahead of myself.

Alcide and Debbie are getting inducted into their new wolf pack, and Alcide is all worry-face about Sookie. Debbie is pissed at first, but then she decides it’s probably better to just go look for her instead of having Alcide all mopey for the rest of the wolf party. Now, of course the rest of us all saw what happened next coming a mile away… and they walked in on some crazy f-ing in the woods. The look on Alcide’s face wasn’t embarrassment or even disgust — it was disappointment.

This is the definition of an "Oh Shit" face.

Meanwhile, we pick up where we left off last week with the witch storyline. Marnie/Antonia is still controlling Sheriff Luis, and using that ability, she is able to kill annoying minion Katy and escape easily. Luis then goes to visit King Bill, and a pretty cool and anxiety-inducing struggle ensues. Gotta love Stephen Moyer and his fang faces. They really crack me up.

But King Bill is finally growing on me. After releasing Eric and being the bigger vamp last week, we see him really step it up as a leader and an all-around good guy. He orders all the remaining vampire sheriffs to evacuate the area, and for the rest of the vampires who stay… well, they need to silver chain themselves down when they do their midday dirt nap. Why? Oh because Marnie/Antonia is going to force them all to meet the sun.

Since when has a fanatic been held back by the improbability of their righteous mission? — Bill

Now I have read in a couple other blogs the same thought I had when he explained this plan… why would Antonia do this immediately, and not wait to surprise them and torture them with not knowing when this spell shit was going down? Oh well, it makes for quicker and more entertaining television.

Bill has some very sweet moments with Jessica, and reminds us that he’s not just a power-hungry “dork.”

I so wish I knew how to Photoshop my face into this.

Speaking of sweet moments, let’s talk about how Sookie is really letting her heart spill out to Eric now that they have done the deed.

I like how Sookie was honest about not sure if she’d still want to be with Eric once he has his memories back. And Eric didn’t push for more. We can be fairly certain that Eric will get his memory back before the end of the season, but we don’t know what that will mean for our new lovebirds. Will Eric remember his time with Sookie, or will he be oblivious? And if he does remember, do things even have a shot at working out between them?

But even has Sookie was silvering Eric and comforting him through the bleeds, he manages to say something I think to be the most romantic and sweet thing uttered on this show:

If you can overlook the things I have done, and forgive me for them… I don’t want to remember. I am perfectly happy as I am, with you. — Eric

This lady is totally stable.

Meanwhile, we finally get an Alcide sex scene! But sadly, it’s not that awesome. Debbie ruins it with her mental health issues. Even though Alcide is clearly the best boyfriend in the world, I doubt Debbie’s issues have been cured.

Cut to Tara gathering new coven recruits, and Marnie/Antonia floats in as if she has watched a little too much of “”The Craft.”

Antonia has been a really great “villain” for this show.  Unlike the previous King of Louisiana or Maryann, she’s not an evil villain. She really was wronged big time by some vampires, and deserves revenge. However, things have changed a bit over the last 400 years, so maybe someone should try to explain to her not all vamps are into the raping and killing all the time anymore.

LOL Ginger.

The spell starts, and you know it does because someone turned on a bunch of wind machines on HIGH. We see Maxine’s neighbor explode into flames (guess she didn’t get the silver memo), and cut to each of our major players as they struggle to get to the sun.

Ginger rides Pam’s pretty pink coffin like a bull ride, Sookie presses down against Eric as he screams “HE DOESN”T CARE” if he dies. And Jessica of course manages to get through her chains and the wind machines to get to the front door. (Which, by the way, had the cheesiest crappiest lock on it ever.) All the while Jason is running full speed and tackling snipers to help save her.

Anyway, even though its cliffhanger, we can all be pretty sure Jason will figure out away to get by those snipers and save Jessica, which is what those assholes should have been doing in the first place. Looks like we will also get an awesome steamy shower scene between Sookie and Eric, which will make the book fans VERY happy. But the big excitement for next week is the Vamp Vs. Witch showdown in the cemetery!

Other stuff!

  • Still so OVER Tara and her issues. Can someone eat her, please?
  • When is this demon baby/French lady ghost storyline going to make sense?
  • How is Lafayette’s newfound talent as a medium going to come into play with the witch/vamp war?
  • Second best quote of the episode came from Jesus’ abuelo: “What?! I was fucking my wife.”
  • So glad Sam and Luna figured out the Tommy skinwalking thing so fast. And honestly, if Tara doesn’t die, I think Tommy needs to.
  • And they need to quit it with the Andy V addiction, or explain why it matters ASAP.
  • Dr. Ludwig, the vamp doc, needs her own daytime TV show. Hope to see more of her.
  • Finally, does anyone else think Pam really needs a love interest? She’s so awesome, and all she had was crazy Ginger to comfort her. And who wouldn’t want to see her in sexy action! Let’s get a letter writing campaign going to Alan Ball, stat.

    Until next time! Meanwhile, treat yourself to a anti-rot wrap.

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Hey Trubies… I have no time to recap this week, which makes me very sad-faced… since this episode really got my nether regions all worked up.

What I will say about the LONG AWAITED sex scene between Eric and Sookie is this: While initially I really wanted the love scene to be raw and powerful… I am a total convert. I LOVE how sweet and beautiful (and to a large degree, cheesy) it was. SO very different from her first time with Bill, and given this is only the second person she has made love with, it’s pretty perfect. Who the hell wouldn’t want to have full moon-lit nookie with that guy – who clearly worries A LOT about his lady’s pleasure. Ok… enough drooling, I have to go.

So, to make it up to  you, here is a video the EW recappers posted with all the E/S action from last week’s video in one nice convenient clip. Try not to watch it too many times in a row:)

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