Archive for January, 2011

It’s no secret that I am single and ready to mingle. I have admitted as such in previous posts, and it has become a source of some frustration over the last several months. Not being single, that is…. I am a seasoned pro in that area. It’s the being on the dating scene and trying to “put yourself out there” to meet new people.

I’ve done the online dating thing on and off for YEARS. And for the most part, it has been largely a waste of time (and sometimes money). I have officially tried the following sites: Match, Chemistry, Nerve and OKCupid. I have never tried, and will never try, eHarmony since they are fairly bigoted against gay relationships (I’ve also heard a similar complaint about that sites issues with interracial couples too, but I can’t find the link).

I had a few good dates, and even saw someone for a few weeks from my experience on Nerve. None of those semi-positive experiences led to actual relationships, but it wasn’t a total mess all the time. I actually got a bit of a stalker from Match… and had to block his number from my phone. I’ve never tried JDate, but after reading Twanna Hines’ blog over at FunkyBrownChick.com, it sounds like it might be worth a shot even if you are a non-Jewish woman.

But here’s the thing… I just don’t want to do it anymore. Right now, I just have an OKCupid account out there – mostly because it is free. Usually, I just leave it out there and only respond to the guys who message me. About 95 percent of the men who visit my profile or message me are definitely creeps or 45 years old, or 45-year-old creeps. I did go on an alright date last month with a nice guy – but he went from an annoying, overzealous G-chatter to completely disappearing and never asking me out on a second date. Granted, I never really followed-up with him since I was feeling pretty lukewarm about him anyway.

Occasionally I will message a guy I think is witty or cute. But I usually never get a response, or if I do, it is this:

Ha. Cute. Thanks 🙂 Shame you’re not my type. Have a nice day 😀

I could give him credit for responding at all, but really all I could translate that to was “Cute message, but you are too ugly/fat/not funny for me. Have a nice day.”

Now of course I do not want to date someone who says things like “you aren’t my type.” It’s just that this is the rigmarole of online dating. You scroll though hundreds of photos and profiles, wondering, which guy might be worth my crafting a hilariously cute and enticing email to? And you find one, and they think you are gross or not nearly as cute or hilarious or enticing as you really are.

I’ve also read that if you are honest about your “body type,” especially for women, it can deter men that would probably find you very attractive in person. But I just don’t feel comfortable lying about my body type and putting something like “athletic and toned,” when only one part of that stupid descriptor is true. I am “curvy,” and definitely interested in a guy who isn’t afraid or too stupid to browse that category.

I started believing a long time ago that online dating is a bit like gambling. You might have beginners luck (which has happened to a few of my friends), or you might lose all your money in the penny slots every god damn time. I also realized that it really isn’t that much safer or foolproof than just simply flirting with someone at a bar.

Jezebel recently did an interesting breakdown of how a study from OKCupid about how men rate the women they see on that site. Sure, hot women get more interest than ugly women. But it turns out that “when some men think you’re ugly, other men are more likely to message you. And when some men think you’re cute, other men become less interested.” Meaning, somehow, I am suppose to appeal highly to some guys, but be totally nast to others. Right, I’ll get on that.

So, all this disappointment and frustration with online dating has brought me back to what the alternatives are. Let’s break them down, shall we?



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This has absolutely NOTHING to do with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr or the fact that this weekend is MLK day. Its actually just because I have been thinking a lot about dreams, mostly because I have been having some doozies lately. And they have ranged from totally livid and even realistic, to totally bizarre and unbelievable.

But what does it MEAN???

I’ll start with the one that might rank as my oddest dream I just had this week. It’s a little fuzzy now, but the basic plot was I was on the hunt to find Saddam Hussein (Why? Who the hell knows). So I found him, but he tricked me and ended up capturing me. Then he decided to sit me down, and share a giant meal of shrimp cocktail with me, and tell me his life story. There aren’t many details after that that would matter. The point is, why in the world would I dream of eating shrimp cocktail with Saddam Hussein?

Sometimes dreams are pretty easy to get why certain characters make appearances. I once dreamt that I was canoodling with Pierce Brosnan in a hot tub, when we were rudely interrupted by the entire cast of the TV show, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. This was probably because I had watched a lot of Buffy episodes recently, and I guess Pierce is just a sexy Brit.

I hadn’t thought of Saddam Hussein in quite some time (perhaps maybe I do think about shrimp a lot though…). He must represent something to me in my mind’s eye, but I think it might take me a while to work that one out.

But just last night, I had a super vivid dream about my estranged relationship with my mother. I like to think of dreaming as our brains way of working stuff out for us while we sleep.

This blog/article says that there are generally six major things that can cause nightmares or bizarre and vivid dreams:

  • Anxiety and stress
  • Spicy foods
  • Fatty foods
  • Alcohol
  • Some prescription drugs
  • Illness

I think the night of the Saddam dream I was stocked up on probably three of the six causes, so perhaps that’s the reason. But then again, one of my favorite online dream dictionaries – Dream Moods – says that dreaming of a “dictator” suggests perhaps I am being too controlling, and need to be more open-minded and flexible in my thinking. That’s probably true too. Maybe sometimes, I have to just sit back and eat some damned shrimp cocktail, and not try to control everything.

So, I would love to see the comments section of this little-blog-that-could get rolling, so what are some of your truly weird, scary or vivid dreams?

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Nom Nom Nom!!!

I’m addicted to the cooking network, it’s a real problem, it made me gain 20 lbs (gotta blame someone).  Chuck’s Day Off is filled with awesome recipes, but Chuck is hard to deal with, we don’t have a great relationship.  He’s just REALLY EXCITED!!  YEAH!  Chop some garlic and put on some surfer rock and he’s EXCITED!!  But his recipes are really frigging good and I have to watch him.  I made some stuff on Sunday, and it was AMAZING!!  YEAH!!


 BLT Bruchetta


  • 1 long peasant loaf, sliced lengthways
  • 2 tablespoons good olive oil
  • 1 head garlic, unpeeled, cut in half
  • 1 cup goat cheese, at room temperature
  • 1/3 cup 2% milk
  • 4 large beefsteak tomatoes, thickly sliced
  • 8 slices pancetta
  • A handful of fresh basil leaves, torn roughly
  • 1 large shallot, finely sliced
  • A handful chives, minced
  • Several handfuls of baby arugula
  • 2 teaspoons white Balsamic vinegar
  • 1 lemon – juiced and zested
  • Coarse salt and pepper


  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Slice bread in half lengthwise. Use the bottom, saving the top for another meal.
  3. Drizzle some good fruity olive oil on top.
  4. Put in oven till lightly toasted – about 10 min.
  5. Pull out and rub with half a garlic head.
  6. Cream the cheese with milk to make lighter and more spreadable.
  7. Place tomatoes in a bowl, add herbs, season with salt, pepper and a drizzle of white balsamic vinegar. Toss to combine.
  8. Pan grill pancetta till it is on the softer side of crisp. Set aside to drain off surface fat on paper towels.
  9. Spread a thin layer of cheese across the loaf.
  10. Lay pancetta evenly across the cheese.
  11. Lay tomato slices on top of pancetta.
  12. Top with baby arugula leaves.
  13. Finish with a drizzle of olive oil and a fine grating of lemon zest over the top.
  14. Slice on the diagonal into single servings.

I used bacon instead of pancetta, same shizz, just a little smokey!  This could easily be vegetarian if you take away the bacon.  But if you’re like me, bacon, along with hot dogs, pork roll, and the occasional White Castle cheeseburger don’t really count as a meat.  They’re more like candy.



Warm Potato Salad



  • 1 1/2 pounds fingerling potatoes
  • 4 eggs, hardboiled and halved
  • 2 tinned anchovies, minced
  • 1 1/2 tablespoons grainy Dijon mustard
  • 1 garlic clove, minced
  • 1/4 cup white wine vinegar
  • 1/2 cup canola oil
  • Handful of baby green beans
  • 1/4 cup water
  • Pinch of coarse salt and grinding of crack black pepper


  1. Wash and place fingerling potatoes into a pot of water. Bring to a boil, add salt and simmer till just fork tender. You can use the same pot for boiling eggs. Just watch the time.
  2. While potatoes are cooking, make dressing in your serving bowl or if you have a mortar and pestle, use that. Begin with mashing the anchovy into the mustard and garlic. Add vinegar and slowly whisk in the oil. If too thick, water down a bit with water.
  3. Blanch beans, drain and chill down with cold water bath. Drain on a towel.
  4. Peel eggs. And cut in half.
  5. Drain potatoes and while still warm, drop into bowl with dressing.
  6. Add beans and eggs.
  7. Fold all gently together and serve warm in shallow white plate/bowls

I didn’t have fingerling potatoes, but thanks to an impulse buy at Shoprite, I do have 10lbs of yukon gold… I just cubed em up and cha-ching… 3 more potato’s down, only 9 lbs to go!!  And I nixed the anchovies… I’m afraid of them, I just used more sea salt.

Enjoy party peeps!  Super easy and pretty cheap recipes!

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Happy Friday!

After the week I have had… I am going to take a page out of this kitty’s playbook. STAT.

Courtesy of CuteOverload.com

TGIF to all you broads out there.

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So, I am coming clean (well… as clean as you can come on an anonymous blog), I just cannot stop watching “Say Yes to the Dress.” Ok, so on it’s own, that’s not so bad. But you have to understand more about me. I just simply CANNOT imagine myself in a wedding dress.


Now, I am not anti-wedding by any means – I just don’t think it suits me personally. My sister’s wedding was beautiful and very much her. Our very own Bikini Killmenow had an absolutely lovely and classy wedding just over the holidays (which I am sure she will tell you all more about once she is done romancing it up with Mr. Killmenow). And I am VERY much looking forward to another of my besties getting married soon.

It’s just I have a hard time imagining myself with a man for the rest of my life, let alone getting engaged, planning a wedding, etc. Amazing women in my life have done it, and there is nothing wrong with them. So what’s my problem?

Well, my first problem is I’ve only been in ONE serious relationship that made me think about “the rest of my life,” and I was 19 years old when we broke up. So there’s that.

But enough about my problems. Let’s talk about how awesome this show is for me. I think why I like it is because it’s really not about wedding dresses, weddings, marriage or love. It’s about crazy brides and the salespeople who have to deal with them. Deep down, I think this show just reinforces my weird negativity and issue with weddings.

Randy Fenoli

There are some pretty hilarious characters…. my favorite is Randy the fashion director. He’s a bit flamboyant, but I think I would want him around when I was deciding to by a $3,000 dress.

The other part I love is the train wreck that inevitably happens when the bride brings the wrong people to help her choose. The usual debbie-downers include mother in-laws and fathers. I love the episodes when they get all belligerent and decide to go find super tacky dresses that they just KNOW this bride will love.

I have no problem owning up to watching all the Housewives shows on Bravo, Jersey Shore, or even Hoarders. But I do have a hard time admitting I watch this show. But isn’t the first step admitting you have a problem?


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Sunday funday recipes…  Chinese takeout, in… ch ch check these recipes…


Sweet and Sour Pork  (or tofu, or chicken, or what friggin ev)

  •  2 cups water 1 cup white or brown rice
  • 2 scallions, finely chopped
  • 2 tablespoons vegetable or canola oil
  • 1 tablespoon hot sauce
  • Juice of 1 lime
  • 3 tablespoons honey
  • 3 tablespoons soy sauce or Tamari (dark soy sauce)
  • 3 tablespoons rice wine vinegar
  • 1 can tomato sauce (8 ounces)
  • 1 tablespoon cornstarch
  • 1 package pork tenderloins, trimmed of silver skin and cut into 1-inch dice
  • 2 cloves garlic, grated or finely chopped
  • 1 inch ginger, peeled and grated
  • 2 green bell peppers, seeded and cut into 1-inch pieces
  • 1 large onion, cut into 1-inch pieces
  • 6 slices fresh pineapple, drained and cut into 1-inch pieces
  • Freshly ground black pepper


Bring the water to a boil in a medium size pot with a lid. Add the rice and give it a stir, then put the lid on and reduce the heat to a simmer. Cook the rice until tender, about 18 minutes. Once it’s ready, fluff it with a fork and stir in the scallions.

When the rice is about halfway done, place a large skillet over high heat with two turns of the pan of oil, about 2 tablespoons. While the pan is heating up, grab a small bowl and combine the hot sauce, lime juice, honey, Tamari, vinegar, tomato sauce and cornstarch, stirring to dissolve the cornstarch. Set the sauce aside.

When the skillet is searing hot, add in the pork and cook the meat until caramelized, 3-4 minutes. Add in the garlic, ginger, peppers and onions, and stir fry the meat and veggies for 2 minutes more. Add in the pineapple and reserved sauce and stir everything together. Bring the sauce to a boil and allow it to cook for 1 minute to thicken up.

Season everything with some ground black pepper and serve the sweet ‘n sour pork over the scallion rice.

You can eat the leftover pineapple for dessert… the bromelain will help digest the massive amounts of this shit you’re going to eat!

Cabbage Spring Rolls

These are super easy, delish, and macrobiotic!  People chomp these when they’re all crunked up!  Get your healthy on! 

Extra virgin olive oil
2-3 cloves fresh garlic, finely minced
1 yellow onion, finely diced

Soy sauce:
1-2 stalks celery, diced
1 carrot, fine matchstick pieces
4 cups finely shredded green head cabbage
1 cups fresh/frozen corn kernels
12-14 eggless egg roll wrappers

Dipping sauce:
One half cup unsweetened orange marmalade
2 tablespoons fresh orange juice
1 tablespoon brown rice vinegar
1 tablespoons umeboshi vinegar
1 teaspoon fresh grated ginger juice
One half teaspoon soy sauce
1 tablespoon brown rice syrup
generous pinch chili powder

Place a small amount of oil, garlic and onion in a deep skillet and turn heat to medium. When the onions begin to sizzle, add a dash of soy sauce and sauté for 1-2 minutes. Stir in celery and carrot and sauté for 1 minute. Stir in cabbage, cover and steam for 1 minute, until it begins to wilt. Remove cover and add a light seasoning of soy sauce. Saute for 2-3 minutes, until cabbage is quite limp. Stir in corn and a light seasoning of mirin and sauté until any liquid has been absorbed.

Lay egg roll wrapper on a dry work surface with one corner facing you. Spoon 2-3 tablespoons filling across the wrapper, close to you, but leaving the corner exposed so you can fold it over. Fold the two side corners and the corner closest to you over the filling. Roll, jellyroll style, forming a cylinder. Moisten the remaining corner and seal the roll. Lay, seam side down on a dry surface. Repeat process with remaining filling and dough.

Make the dipping sauce by combining all ingredients in a small saucepan and cooking over low heat, whisking, for 2-3 minutes. Adjust seasonings to taste and cook one minute more. Set aside to cool.

Brush a large skillet generously with oil and place over medium-high heat. Cook the spring rolls until golden and crispy, turning as needed to insure even browning. To serve, slice spring rolls in half crosswise, on the diagonal. Arrange on a platter with dipping sauce on the side. Serve immediately.

We ordered crab rangoon, and had them deliver it, bc I was not about to break out the deep fryer today.
Enjoy while watching Jersey Shore marathon! 
 Chomp your NYE hangover away!

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